Some days are difficult
in my world this has been one of those.
Feelings i don’t want to feel – and it takes a long time for me to even recognise that it is as simple as that..
I teach with Sarah a workshop called “Unfolding Heart Matters”. And we do that because we both know that the unfolding of the heart that wraps itself up through habit and bitter history does matter.
It matters a lot that we have the courage to search under the stories we tell ourselves , the thoughts of the day we readily believe to avoid the feeling that lies under them – often it is easier to believe the thoughts than to get under them and just feel what is going on.
Today mine were along the lines of ” too tired -too many problems that are other peoples fault – too many things to do so better to leave this till later – i need …..” and that kind f endless mind chatter stopping me from just being here now…..
and ignoring the reality of my own absence but really having it in my own face so being me was no fun….and “blaming” came easily
and then finally my favourite soap came on the radio – it was a wedding and i know the characters are not “real” but its like i do know them all, and 2 people who’d been feuding for years made up, and a lot of ordinary people did really sweet things for each other…
and i listened to the radio alone in my airbnb and i cried and cried and cried…
and my thoughts are chattering at me “WTF Alain! – it’s not a real wedding – these are actors ” and i cried anyway.
Then i got it.
I went to the feelings, i went to my heart, i went to the sensations and i played some music and i moved to it.
My heart unfolded and i was back, actually here and now back from wherever spaced out victim / tyrant head place i’s spent most of the day..
My thoughts not able to simply say “well done” said instead – ‘why didn’t you do that earlier….”
Another day gone another lesson
thankfully there are all these workshops coming up….
so ready to dance it all
I hope this coming summer, longer days and blossoming fruit is nourishing you
if so and if not just take a moment put your own hand on you own heart and listen…